A hundred billion times, that is the phrase that is resonating within me tonight. I, once again, lay restless. I’m answering a few questions over text messages for a friend and the phrase a hundred billion times keeps singing along. After a quick search on the world wide web, I see the Hillsong video called, “so will I” the proper name of the tune. It’s these moments that stir me to write.
In my stirring I see the scape of the sun and the scorching rays that bend toward earth running at speeds that at best are mathematical calculations. (I hear Doc Brown from Back to the Future saying in a frustrated tone, “one point twenty-one gigawatts!”) It singes the hairs on the arm. It burns deep, frying the layers of skin that wind up being exposed to its full fury if unguarded. That impact can turn the paleness into a deep rainbow of colors leaving a longstanding reminder of the offense.
Sin, pain, and hurt can do the same things. They can betray the very fibers of hope, trust, and love that have been held together in a comfort of contentment built from relationship. The burn can fillet the layers deep, past the surface where the sun touches, where it reaches cavernous wells of the heart, mind, and spirit. Breaches of this nature bear a mark that may ooze for long durations, only scabbing up from time to time. It leaves a wound that is carried for many many days, months, and years.
These betrayals reside close to the source of our fountains of enjoyment for life. They linger polluting our waters infecting the nature of who we are. But know this, you have been prayed for. In this very moment of anguish, grief, hurt, a prayer spoken by the Lord was uttered and recorded just for you… “I am praying for them… that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them (John 17:9, 26 ESV).
And it starts at forgiveness…
God’s nature is not to deal with us to the full extent of our sins but often times mankind does. Check out Psalm 103:10 below. People seek retribution for the actions committed and there is proper course for that. But inside, if we hold that resentment, it corrupts our nature and keeps us in constraints. To often the victim suffers too long learning to deal and cope with it, but the offender moves on.
The heart is a tricky value that is mixed with strength, love, and emotions. Seek to forgive as best as you can… It may be a trickle here and there or a flush so big it wipes the slate clean, yet the need is real. In Mark 11:25 ESV, we are commanded with the following: “and whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” The healing begins here.
Forgiveness is a key to your release. It isn’t easy. Most of the time it is the hardest thing to do. But know He was impaled on a cross for your behalf and He still forgave. Jesus was strengthened in the garden for His last day on earth (Luke 22: 42) and may His Spirit do the same for you. Then utter the same words He shared on the Cross, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do (Luke 23:24).”
Godspeed, The Journeyman
Ps. Today’s story was built over several days as it came in segments. Sometimes it is different. It builds the receptors for better listening and you grow towards being guided with a glance! Psalm 32:8! Below are the referenced scriptures for your viewing pleasure.
Psalm 103:10 ESV, “He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.
John 17:9 ESV, “I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours.”
John 17:26 ESV, “I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.”
Luke 23:24 NLT, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”
Mark 11:24-25 ESV, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
Psalm 32:8 KJV, “I will guide thee with mine eye.”
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